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Family friendly states to move to? (Please include cities too)
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My husband is getting out of the military soon and we’re looking for areas to settle in. Looking for a city/area in the US that has good schools, amenities, preferably close to a beach/coast, has nice nature for hikes, and a liberal or purple area. We’re an interracial couple with mixed children and want an area that’s diverse. Any advice is welcomed. Tell me about why you love your area! Thank you in advance. :)
Top Comment: Maybe you should consider Virginia! There are lots of veterans, active duty, defense contractors, and government workers here. If you live in Northern Virginia or Richmond, it is fairly liberal. (The rural counties are more red.) We have beaches to the east, and mountains and hiking to the west.
Where should my family go?
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Hello! My husband and I are lost on where we want to live. Some background: I grew up in San Diego. LOVED it there. My family no longer lives there and my husband will not live there- too big of a city for him. I love the climate, mountains, beaches, laid back lifestyle. My husband grew up in a small farm town in Maryland. We both went to college in a small mountain town in Oregon and lived there together for 6 years. I got pregnant and we decided to live closer to family. We moved to Annapolis, MD. We don’t like it. 1.5 hrs away from his parents turns out to be too far and his parents live in florida half the year anyways. We are trying to build a community with a newborn here and are half tempted to move back to oregon with our friends and hobbies. My husband has 3 siblings, they all live in different states and they all have little ones close in age to our girl. Where should we move??? To space coast florida: with my husband’s parents there half the year and my husband’s brothers family year round (My husband does not want to move to florida but is considering it) To new hampshire: with my husbands brother and his family To vermont: with my husbands sister and her family Back to oregon with our friends and established community Or stay in maryland and move to the small farm town with only my husbands parents half the year (this is what my husband wants) Insight would be helpful!!
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Honestly OR seems like the obvious choice. There’s no guarantees the in-laws would even be involved in your day to day even if you lived down the street.
To move near family or stay put | Mayo Clinic Connect
Main Post: To move near family or stay put | Mayo Clinic Connect
Top Comment: A move is very difficult. Not sure if moving where we have to make new friends will be worth it. I am 82 and he is 85. ... In reply to @celia16 "It’s great you have those options! I might hesitate leaving a place I love for a..." + (show)- (hide) ... It’s great you have those options! I might hesitate leaving a place I love for a new place that you might not like as well. Can you do a trial visit? It’s nice to be near family...
Ideas of where to move my family?
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Here’s what we’re looking for:
- My wife is a stay-at-home mom.
- $200k income.
- Married with two kids under 11, so good schools are a must.
- Need to be within 45 minutes to an hour of a decent airport for work travel.
- My wife would love an older, historic home that's reasonably priced (under a million).
- We're looking for good family activities.
- We love being near the ocean and lakes.
- A strong job market would be a bonus in case I need to change companies.
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The northern half of NJ, the PA suburbs within 25 miles of Philly, the Hudson Valley in NY, and the CT suburbs of NYC would work.
Is proximity to family a good enough reason to move?
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Currently live in the PNW with my spouse and one year old. Family is in the southeast. We never had any intention of leaving the PNW though had planned to move to a better neighborhood/school district in the next few years before our child started school. One of my parents was diagnosed with cancer last year and one of my spouse's parents recently passed away. About 6 months ago, I changed jobs for a fully remote position and we can now live anywhere. We don't really want to live in the southeast but don't want to stay in our current city either now that I don't work here. Would you return to the southeast to be closer to aging/ill parents while your child is young? Or would you stay in the PNW but move to an area with better schools and a better fit for a young family? I fear I will regret either choice.
Top Comment: I am 54M, and my wife and I have lived in seven US states and even for a stint in Switzerland. My father passed away in October 2022 while I was literally getting a root canal in Switzerland at 10:30 AM. My mother calls me at her EST time of 4:30 AM, to tell me dad has passed away. I was on a flight back to North Carolina and arrived the same day at 10:30pm EST. I always thought the distance and our constant movement was going to be a problem. It doesn’t mean it’s not going to be a problem again in the future. But keep in mind it’s quite easy to be mobile in this country. I come from a communal background. My parents are immigrants of south Asian descent. The common joke around South Asians is that two words define our community: obligation and duty. But we’re also forward looking. Meaning taking great care of the youth. I believe to honor the past. You really must take very good care of the future. This means take care of your spouse and kids. Do what is the most right for them first. Consider moving to a city that easily allows you to jump on an airplane and make a direct or one hop flight back home. If you or your spouse, don’t necessarily want to live exactly next-door to your family, consider living in a town or city that’s maybe in the same time zone. But maybe still a few hours drive away. But don’t feel guilty. Air travel is quite easy. You can make a flight from Portland to Savannah, Georgia within the same day, and with only one connection. Plus your ability to WFH is helpful if you have to plant yourself temporarily back home. Your number 1 responsibility is to your own family first. Then everyone else.
How does one move states with a family?
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Title speaks for itself. Were currently a family of 4 living on the east cost in a state with a high cost of living. Im looking to relocate with our two daughters and am not quite sure how to go about this. I might just be overthinking it, but it seems near impossible to execute such a massive plan with so many moving parts that rely on each other. What comes first, find the job or find the living space? I am having trouble financially and am struggling to find better paying jobs around where I currently am (CT) which is the reason I am looking to move.
Top Comment: Have one parent move to the target city and secure employment and a new place. The other arranges the sale of the current place/packing up. Then reunite in the target city.
Should We Move? Trying to decide what’s best for our family..
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My husband has received a job offer that will double his current income. However, it will require us to move 3 hours away.
Let me start by telling you a little bit about our current lifestyle. Both of us lived out of state during college years, but moved back to our hometown where our families are when we started having kids. Currently we have 2 elementary age kids and 2 toddlers. We live .5 miles away from my parents and 5 minutes from my siblings and their kids. We take Saturday strolls over to my parent’s house and spend Sundays after church with cousins. Also, my grandma is a huge help with picking up the kids from school and babysitting when needed. My husband owns his own business and works non stop. He gets home at 6pm Monday-Friday, works from 12-7 on Sunday and even some Saturdays when employees call in. If he is not at work, then he is answering phone calls or stressing about the business in general. I work Monday-Thursday and get home around 5:45pm. 2 hours is just not a lot of time to spend with our kids. Once we are home we are in a rush to get all the things done, cook dinner, do homework, feed animals, practices for my oldest, take showers, and then put to bed. I work with kids all day so I have to be very intentional when I get home because my patience in usually gone. Friday-Sunday are hard because I have all four kids by myself and I am in survival mode waiting for my husband to get home. We live paycheck to paycheck, and are currently working on paying off some debt to clear up some income. We have no extra income for investing or savings for kids. We own a house that I love and have a few acres for my daughters show animals and for them to ride their dirt bikes.
My husband was offered a position at his previous job that will double his income, but we would need to relocate 3 hours from our hometown and family. The upside to this is he will be done at 3pm each day, not work weekends, have health insurance paid for (currently we have no health insurance), and potential to increase income as they open more locations in the area. There is also opportunity for me to work in a school district and have the same schedule as my kids plus a small raise in pay. The cost of living is a littler higher so we would have to give up having land and live in a suburb instead.
The extra income and more time with my husband and kids sounds appealing to me, but I worry about the effects on my kids taking them away from their grandparents, cousins, and community that knows and loves them. (We live in a small town where everyone knows each other, we would be locating to a small city location where we do not know anyone.) I feel like my husband and I will be better parents to our children if we worked less and had more time to spend with them each day, but is it worth moving them away from family and their community? Has anyone else been in this position? What choice did y’all make? Any regrets?
Sorry for the long post!!
Top Comment:
3 hours isn't that far. You can still make it back any weekend you want.
Quality of life seems like it'll be better in general with the move for you all. The kids will make new friends and you'll get community in your new place.
Editing to add: the health insurance alone seems like a no brainer. And your kids will have more work life balance with both of their parents around more. You can't buy that (well I guess with a raise on top maybe you are!)
Relocating family across the country....
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My husband has a job offer that will double his salary and really help his career that would require a move for our family of five from a small town in Kansas to Portland, Oregon. Our kids are 9, 10, and 12 years old. My parents and quite a bit of extended family live 30 minutes to 2 hours away currently and I have built a decent real estate business for myself here that is not portable. His new job alone will provide about 25K more than our current combined salary and I would plan to either take some time off work or work part time during our transition. We have moved and even lived internationally before and are, as a whole, an adventurous and open family, but I'm feeling guilt at leaving aging parents (my kids are they only grandchildren and they are pretty close). If my husband doesn't take this job, I worry he will regret it as he currently works remote and has no local job opportunities. Because of the huge cost of living difference we would not be significantly better off financially....but this could be a game changer position with a big, well known company for my husband.
Any thoughts or anyone who has been through this?
It's also mid year and we are thinking of having my husband go first and rent a small apartment for November through May while he figures things out, makes sure the job will work, explore neighborhoods and school options, and we allow me to stay back and get our house sold and let the kids finish the school year. I insisted on this plan but I know my husband doesn't like it. We would visit him at Thanksgiving, he would come here at Christmas, and then we would visit again at spring break. He would try to come back a few more times in between, as well, but it's a 5 hour flight...so not that easy.
Does this sound like a logical plan?
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Definitely reach out to a realtor in Portland. I used to live there ages ago and went to visit not long ago. Maybe also join the Portland sub. The crime there is a bit concerning as far as raising a family there, and I live in an area that's a bit iffy in my town, so I'm not easily alarmed. Ask the realtor about the "safer" areas or rather ask the Portland sub about it, as I'm recalling realtors aren't really allowed to discuss "safe" neighborhoods. There are tons of city parks there, year round snowboarding, but it has its challenges. I love that town, but I doubt I'd choose to raise a family there. Might look into Vancouver, Washington too, though the Portland sub will tell you more on if that's still a viable option. Wishing you the best of luck!!
For those of you who have moved far from family, do you regret it?
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I will be receiving a job offer to a state roughly 1200 miles from where I currently live. My wife and I will be flying out there soon to see the area and make our final decision if I will accept. The kicker is, she’s pregnant and is due in late October/early November. I know that no one can tell me what I should/shouldn’t do. I’m just looking for personal insight and experiences.
How hard was it on you living far away from any family and friends with a new born?
Do you regret moving away from your family and friends?
What were some of your challenges and did you ultimately move back?
Top Comment: I haven't lived near family at all as an adult, and I have three kids. Since I don't really have anything to compare it to, I can just say it's feasible. I've never been close with my family, so I've never missed them or felt like I needed them in context of my kids. I moved away from my home state at 18, 42 now and have never regretted it nor considered moving back. I built a life of my own in a place I wanted to be, and that has been much better.
Should I move my family?
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I'll try to summarize my position:
My wife and I live in Florida with a one year old daughter. My wife stays at home, and I'm able to support us on one income (make about ~100k gross). My wife and I hate Florida with a passion due to the heat, traffic, mass population influx, etc., and have been talking about moving out of state for years. I'm expecting a job offer in Western NC here soon, but it'll be a roughly 19.5k pay cut. A few years ago it wouldn't be so dramatic, however my employer has given large raises the last two years to combat cost of living increases. We plan to have my wife stay at home with her until she's a bit older and goes to school full time.
That being said, we've spent a lot of time in the region and we enjoy it so much more so than here. We both feel that it's a much better lifestyle pace and better place to raise our daughter, but I'm worried that the pay cut given the ongoing cost of living increase will affect us in the long run, especially since I'm locked into a 3% mortgage from 2020 that I can pay with my eyes closed. If we don't move, I've estimated we can be completely debt free including the mortgage in about ten years, if not faster if I promote within my career in the next few years.
I've run the math and due to the equity in the home allowing us to make a large down payment on a home and pay off the small remaining debt we have, our monthly net income will actually be roughly the same (still maxing out our Roth's as well). We might have to purchase a slightly older home, but it'll likely have more property than the 0.25 acres I currently live on.
Has anyone else taken a significant pay cut to move for similar reasons? If so, do you regret it?
Top Comment: Sounds like you want to leave FL, and the only thing holding you back is the potential cost of doing so. If you leave FL now, your daughter has no ties to the place, and the move won't affect her much. If you leave in 10 years when your house is theoretically paid off, she will already be integrated into a community and it will be much harder to leave. You will certainly have higher interest on your mortgage in NC, however can this be offset in any way? For example are there any tax savings, or homeowners insurance savings (probably would be due to leaving FL)? You and your wife probably need to sit down and look at your current budget and what your new budget will be. You'll definitely need to agree on any lifestyle adjustments. Maybe your wife will be able to work part time or do something to help make up the cash flow difference? I think you should go now, but go with eyes open about any changes you might need to make.
Those who moved away from family (a good relationship) do you regret it?
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I am not referring to the JustNO types of family members that you might be happy to move far away from. If you had a good relationship with you parent(s) and settled somewhere far away from them, did you regret it as your parents aged?
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